It was one innocent Tweet, then all hell broke loose. Joey reports exclusivley on the fight between two of Northern Englands, filthiest bands.
It was Friday evening (4th Feb), yours truly was sitting, scrolling through Twitter. I came across the lads from the metal band Still posting about their new album {} (dont get me started on the album name) being a bargain price on Bandcamp. Bandcamp Friday, for those unaware, is the day when bands get 100% of the sales into their pocket. So, with Heavy Matters doing what we try and do best and support the underground, (while doing all this for free I might add) I quoted their Tweet bigging them up and how they are such nice lads- see our interview with them on the podcast. Safe in the knowledge that my one solitary tweet supporting the band was going to increase their sales by a significant percentage, I went to bed knowing my work was done.
I slept very well last night. I was not prepared for what lay ahead of me.
It's now Saturday, I wake up, partake in my usual routine of lunges and squats to feel the burn in my groin. I then rub olive oil all over my body and go for a run while listening to the theme of Baywatch. What was I saying? Oh yes, the tweet. Around 10.30am on the Saturday I see a
reply to my Tweet from last night from Mastiff (previously called Mastoff, but due to a printing error they are stuck with Mastiff) going straight for the jugular, claiming that Still are all hired musicians and that Fraser (Still) spat in the drummer of Mastiff face, just for looking him in the eye! There is no evidence of this claim, but as it was said on Twitter is must be true. Twitter is more reliable for news than the Daily Star. Covid conspiracies are all true, do not do you own reserch, believe in Brian with one O level rather than science!
Exclusive
After some 'friendly' banter with Mastiff, I decided to ask the question (being a true professional journo) about what we can expect from Mastff new album. In an exclusive bit of news, the band have confirmed they are working on an album of Simply Red covers due to be released with Mick Hucknalls blessing. Thats right, Heavy Matters always gets the exclusives! We are the TMZ of Metal news and 100% reliable.
Anyway, after hearing this breaking, exclusive, never before-heard news, Still chime in with 'So, you are rehashing Leave me the Ashes of the Earth Then? Making a joke of Mastiffs last album which was actually quite heavy, regardless of what Still say.
And so the battle ensued. My phone has been lighting up more than Blackpool on a Saturday night with notifications on Twitter. Each message between the bands more vicous and scathing than the last. I have been trying to keep it light-hearted and keep the fractions to a minimum but, it seems like the damage is already done and this could be the end of the 'wonderful' friendship between these two.
For the record, I love both these bands, have interviewed them both and have a copy of their latest releases on vinyl. However, just like when my parents divorced at a young age, I cannot choose who to side with. So, with that in mind, I have two vinyl edition of Mastiff and Still'
latest album for sale, of which none of the proceeds will go to either band as they are being so childish. Instead, I will use the proceeds for the new Simply Red album, something I can get behind and support with all my heart.
At the time of writing this I received a Tweet that in fact, bridges have been re-built and the two bands are currently engaged in what can only be descirbed as make up sex similar to their musical outputs, filthy, with no room to breathe.
So, this was a pointless article and a waste of my time between two bands who were just having 'banter'. Shame on you two, I missed my childrens christening to break this story and now the wife has left me! Ill be as professional as I can finishing up this breaking news, fuck you Mastoff and Still, with your silly album name for ruining my marriage and my Saturday.
Can you please send me the promo of your new album when its available please? Thanks very much. I didnt mean any of the above. Just click-bait sells!
Joey
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